Patyzoni – Neohrožený výzkum

Neohrožený výzkum

Náš zdroj blízký vedení GENEX LABORATORIES umožnil našim reportérům návštěvu oddělení výzkumu patyzonní anatomie ! Upozorňujeme, že následující článek není vhodný pro ženy, děti a slabé povahy. Přesto před celou záležitostí nelze zavírat oči. Práce oddělení výzkumu patyzonní anatomie GENEXu je sice nechutná, ale potřebná.

Našim reportérům bylo umožněno podrobně zdokumentovat historicky první pitvu patyzonu, který byl zajat při nedávné ofenzivní operaci na blíže neurčeném místě v Asii. Chtěl škodit lidstvu, avšak teď mu poslouží v důležitém výzkumu !

Pro patology GENEXu jsou podobné odporné akce denním chlebem. Vedoucí týmu oddělení výzkumu patyzonní anatomie profesor Jadran Peckowich promlouvá ke svým spolupracovníkům: "Nezastírám, že můžeme narazit na strašlivé věci. Tato práce vyžaduje celých mužů, preciznost odborníků a odhodlání vlastneců ! Není třeba se ničeho obávat, vše máme plně pod kontrolou."

Patyzon je vyndán z tachyonového boxu a připraven pro převoz na pitevnu. Ještě povzbuzující gesto a tým vyráží plnit svou povinnost.

Profesor Jadran Peckowich jde všem příkladem a sám provádí první řez. Z útrob patyzonu se řine odporně páchnoucí tekutina a dva profesorovi asistenti ztrácejí vědomí. Je to opravdu strašlivý zážitek, i my se přemáháme, abychom si nepozvraceli zápisníky. Jsme však zoceleni z reportáží středisek UNAPA a tak první nával nevolnosti úspěšně zvládáme (připomínáme čtenářům, že někteří z nás viděli i horší věci, například rýžový nákyp). Za praskotu neznámých orgánů profesor Peckowich dokončuje řez a odkrývá pohled ještě odpornější.

Nelidské útroby patyzonu dávají jasnou představu o zrůdnosti celého druhu. Patyzon je nyní přepůlen a před námi se otevírá skutečně nechutný pohled. Profesor Peckowich vysvětluje: "Zde na krajích příčného řezu je dobře patrna tzv. slupka, svrchní obal patyzonů. Dnes poprvé se můžeme podívat i pod ní. Poblíž stopky, kterou můžete spatřit v horní části řezu, je dobře vidět plně vyvinutý nebezpečný orgán patyzonů, tzv. jadřinec. Jak vidíte, naše obavy byly oprávněné, zdá se být plný jader !"

Je nám nabídnuta možnost zdokumentovat detail obávaného patyzonního orgánu a my si jí pochopitelně nenecháváme uniknout. Zrádná jádra jsou dobře patrna. Patyzonu je oddělena stopka a je pečlivě krájen na plátky, aby byl dále podroben důkladnému zkoumání. Naše oprávnění přihlížet však v těchto okamžicích končí, další výzkum již spadá pod přísné utajení kontingentu UNAPA.

"Tyto kroky nejsou příliš populární, hlavně se Sdružením na ochranu zeleniny máme poslední dobou velké potíže. Je však nezbytně nutné dotáhnout vše do konce, sentimentalita není na místě. Pro lidstvo představují patyzoni skutečnou hrozbu, nemůžeme si dovolit žádnou slabost." řekl nám na závěr našeho setkání profesor Jadran Peckowich.

-diz

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Publikoval: diZZy – 20. 8. 2006 22:12 – rubrika Patyzoni – Přímý odkaz – Komentáře (413) – Přidat komentář

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